I see a lot of girls writing stuff about nice guys, so I told myself, why not make one for the nice girls out there.
Dear Nice Girls,
This is for the time that you wanted to hang out with the guy that you liked and his friends and even though he was too cool to admit he had feelings for you and practically ignored you the whole time, you still pretended not to notice as all comments were directed to your chest instead of your face. Nice girls don’t get the attention they deserve. They like sports, They like to get rough and dirty, They don’t ask their man 100 times if they think they’re fat, and they don’t complain while their man munch down four cheeseburgers as they enjoy their salad and water. Even more surprising, nice girls don’t get asked out as much as they should. They don’t expect anything fancy, I mean you can save that $40 you spent taking some whore out to dinner just so you could secure some booty time for dessert and use it to rent a video and buy them some flowers. I wish I could explain this, but the only conclusion I can come up with is some guys are image-whores who just want a hot piece of ass and to uphold a badass reputation. Many of them claim they want a girl they can take home to Mom, but when faced with such a lucky find they say absurd, illogical things such as “Oh, she’s out of my league”, “The timing is off”, or “She’s not my type”. I’m sorry, but those conceited assholes I just have no tolerance for. There is no connection between what they say “I don’t want to wake-up next to a stranger” and what they do “Who the fuck is this naked woman in my bed?”. Furthermore, some men (the players) will comment on the lack of women who possess the full-package that are still available as they continue to sleep around with any hoe-bag with a short skirt, blonde streaks, wide-open legs, and even wider-opened mouths. But one thing I will say is this does not last forever. Eventually the “players” get tired of fucking the high-school/college dropout with STDs and illegitimate children, and that’s when they will be begging to tap the tight nice girls’ asses. The hard part for you girls is sorting out the loser guys from the ones who didn’t have to sleep with 25 girls to realize what they actually want in a woman and then making sure they aren’t involved with the very psycho-bitches that give the nice girls a bad rep. So until some of us men realize what we are missing, until we actually grow big enough balls to go for the nice girls, until we are ready to get more from a relationship than blow jobs and booty calls, and until we have the intelligence to give the nice girls exactly what they need, I propose a toast to all the nice ladies out there. You know who you are, and I know, you are sick of hearing you have to be patient and keeping waiting until what’s meant to happen will happen. But the truth is, the world needs your long comforting talks, your insightful suggestions, your pleasantly optimistic perspective, and your tendency to let us men act like heroes and take the credit while you sit in the background as the ditzy damsel who has so much more than what meets the eye. For all the crazy, immature, ill-witted things you fathom, for all the situations where your infallible performance is unacknowledged, and for the endless nights you spend trying to improve someone else’s life instead of your own, my gratitude and appreciation go out to you.
“Cornbread!” he screamed.
“CHICKEN!” the crowd responded.
And then, all together: “WE GOT HIGHER SATs.”
“Hip Hip Hip Hooray!” the Colonel cried.
“YOU’LL BE WORKIN’ FOR US SOMEDAY!” —John Green (Looking For Alaska)
“It’s my fox hat.”
“Your fox hat?”
“Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat.”
“Why are you wearing your fox hat?” I asked.
“Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.” —John Green
Day 01 — Your favorite song (One of the many) Day 02 — Your favorite movie Day 03 — Your favorite television program Day 04 — Your favorite book
Day 05 — Your favorite quote (currently)
Day 06 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy
Day 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 — A photo you took
Day 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently
Day 12 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 — A fictional book
Day 14 — A non-fictional book
Day 15 — A fanfic
Day 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 — A talent of yours
Day 20 — A hobby of yours
Day 21 — A recipe
Day 22 — A website
Day 23 — A YouTube video
Day 24 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 — Your day, in great detail
Day 26 — Your week, in great detail
Day 27 — This month, in great detail
Day 28 — This year, in great detail
Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy
- Her friend: is it love?
- Her: But I can't stand him. He drives me crazy. I don't want to have anything to do with him.
- Her friend: but sometimes, love does that to people...
- Her: ...